happy anniversary! ♥
cassie steele you and i halestorm here's to us faber drive lucky ones delta goodrem eletric storm faber drive by your side the maine i must be dreaming emmy rossum stay delta goodrem you are my rock
august 30th, 2015.
When I met you, I saw something very clear in your eyes...you would never break my heart. It was hard at first, I didn't want to accept that. I didn't want to feel anything like that, not after what what I went through. Although, I was drunk, pretty much gone for the rest of the night, something about the way you lingered just had me asking you if you would stay the night. I thought that was going to be the end of us ever meeting again, I thought we'd just remain good friends, talk occasionally, little things to make the long distance kind of thing take it's course. That wasn't the case because I found myself missing your voice, a really weird feeling it was because I never felt something like that about anyone. You didn't have to admit that you liked me during that little game of truth or dare, I was already aware that I liked you even if I was completely afraid to act on it. Falling in love with you was just as easy, like I have told you but to be quite honest it wasn't that easy as I let myself make it out to be because although we were very much in love with each other we still had trials and we still had moments where we were unsure of what it really was. I didn't want to be an idiot around you, make myself look like I was some fool in love and get married right away even when we talked about it that night in Las Vegas and how we were so sure yet so not ready, it was a good thing we didn't do it, but we fought about it, like we were both on different pages, and I regret a few of those toughts now but you put it all away for me the on New Years Eve, when not just you propose but you asked me to marry you. I wasn't going to say no, how could I say no? I felt it all that night, all of it wash over me, that was the moment I truly felt alive and that spark I felt that night I first met you ignited and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I do think you're perfect, but I know you're not. Of course through my eyes you are but I know you will make mistakes, I know you can easily get upset, and then it'll make me angry, but I don't like to think about those moments. I wasn't going to talk about this intially when I first starting typing all of this out but that talk that we had a couple of nights ago made me think really hard about what love is after all...and there were so many damn times I wish I made you feel like there was passion between us, but I backed out of it in my own fear. Did I actually make you feel unwanted? Was I supposed to just shove you against the wall and scream at you that you are mine, that you belong to me, that I'm so fucking in love with you that I can't bare to ever think about you with someone else! Yes, I should have. I know I should have. In fact sometimes I wish I could just slap you so hard because of the way you don't always tell me what you're thinking either and you blame a lot of that on me, but really, quite a few times you're so quiet after we do certain things and there I am trying to figure it out and in those moments I want to just scream at you to get it out, tell me how you really feel. It may make me a hypocrite because I bottle more things that I can imagine in but through these kind of things I'm able to let you know how I really feel, and I will always say it to your face. I don't want to be anyone too nice, but it's just that I'm carefree, I don't let certain things bother me until I'm pressured into something and that's when the passion comes out. What I love about you, Grant, is that you know how to get things out of me, you know what makes me tick, you know that I can easily explode at any time. You don't let me get that mad at you though, I have tried, and you've said "Don't" and so I've stopped so let's not forget about that either. But yeah, now that I've got off in a tangent about all of this when I should be talking about how we made it to this moment...one year...one year ago you and I stood on top of the Willis Tower to just look at the view, share a moment, hold hands, and then with everything in me I kissed you. No gorgeous view could amount to the view I had of you and no fear could amount to that second where I did think you'd stop me from it, but when you didn't, when you kissed me right back I knew then too it was with all of love that you had for me and I was ready to fall. For me it feels like more, each month that passed it just felt like six months were passing and that was because we had to work to be together, and I don't regret a single moment of that or anything that was said in between. I think it made us stronger, I think every single thing that we've ever diagreed on made us stronger. Every night I missed you was more of me falling in love with you because I longed for you. I still long for you, and I'll do my damn best to make sure you are always going to be loved throughout eternity. I want more anniversaries, I want forever. I need forever too, I know in my heart I need you more than I'll ever need anybody, and I do thank you, Grant Gustin for coming down that day and showing me that I found someone I was going to marry, and forever in love with. You did it, you amazed me, and you've given me everything I've ever wanted. Happy One Year Anniversary, babes.
dear grant dot